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Explore the third DBT mindfulness how skill and uncover practical ways to bring mindful awareness into your daily actions with clarity and purpose.

Last month, we explored One-Mindfully, the second of DBT’s core “How” skills for mindfulness. This month, we’re focusing on the third: Effectively.

If you missed the last post, you can find it here.

What Does It Mean to Be Effective?

In DBT, mindfulness is broken down into What and How skills. The “What” skills—Observe, Describe, Participate—are what you do. The “How” skills—Nonjudgmentally, One-Mindfully, and Effectively—are how you do it.

To be effective means doing what works: making choices that reduce suffering, increase joy, and help you reach your goals. It’s not always about being right—it’s about being skillful.

How to Practice Effectively

1. Know What You WantYou can’t move toward a goal if you haven’t defined it. When emotions run high, it becomes harder to act from your Wise Mind. Take time to name your goal clearly.
2. Understand the Situation as It IsFocusing on what should be often gets in the way. Let go of needing to be right or clinging to what’s unfair—those may feel good temporarily but don’t move you forward.
3. Check In with Wise Mind and Ask for HelpUse mindfulness to center yourself. If you’re stuck, ask for support. Being effective often means staying open, flexible, and willing to adapt.
4. Accept People as They AreWe’re more effective in relationships when we stop wishing others were different. It takes practice—but it’s central to DBT’s Interpersonal Effectiveness skills, which we’ll explore next.

Try This Now

Practice all the mindfulness tools we’ve covered so far. Notice when you’re choosing to be right instead of effective. Observe when judgment or willfulness takes over—and gently return to willingness. Use mindfulness to regulate emotions before you act.

Avoid labels like “good” or “bad.” Effectiveness starts with awareness and intention.

Next month, we’ll introduce the next set of skills: Interpersonal Effectiveness. Until then, keep practicing your mindfulness skills—they’re the foundation for using all DBT skills… effectively.

Adapted from Marsha Linehan’s DBT Skills Training Manual, Second Edition.

Shannon Calder, LMFT, PhD
Clinical Program Manager

Shannon Calder, Ph.D., LMFT, serves as Clinical Program Manager for Camino a Casa. An expert in mental health assessment, crisis intervention and clinical supervision, Shannon began her career in psychiatric hospitals and addiction treatment centers and joined Casa Pacifica in 2012 as a doctoral practicum student. Over the years, Shannon has held key roles at the agency including serving on the Crisis Intervention Response team and its commuity-based Wraparound program. Prior to Camino a Casa she served as Clinical Program Manager for Cliffside Malibu, overseeing the Sherman Oaks Outpatient adult program.

Shannon earned her PhD in Clinical Psychology and her MA in Counseling Psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute.